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INTRODUCTION

Parenting is as old as the existence of man and still has not been mastered by human beings. The reason for this can be argued to the end of human existence, but the reality is that parenting has changed with the continuous evolution society and environment.        Automobile factories must build a sturdy frame to hold the numerous components that allow it to be functional. Without a sturdy frame everything on the car would not be properly aligned for operation, and would eventually fall apart from vibration and were and tear. Like the automobile, adult human beings need a sturdy emotional frame built in the years of childhood to withstand wear and tear of human growth. The household environment one grows up in is the first stage of development for that frame. A frame that can support the development of self-esteem and self-efficiency is crucial and the style of parenting will have played a key role in that development. Parents are the first mentors in life that a child will know; encounters and outcomes may be weighed and decided based on the experience that he or she has endured with the parents.

     I intend to explore Diana Baumrind’s three parenting styles and make comparisons to how they each could or could not fit in with the current and future society. I will outline some of the negative effects the parenting styles could have on a child. The discussion will reveal how some styles could be problematic for the adult life of an offspring.

     In conclusion I will end with the parenting style that would be the most likely of the three to prepare children for adulthood in the present and future society based on the compiled information.

 Authoritarian

The authoritarian parent has specific expectations for conduct and will use forceful measures to combat self will when displayed by the child. The parent will demand respect for traditional order, work and preservation. The authoritarian parent will not compromise when it comes to policy and punitive measures (Baumrind 35). The Parents are usually strict and physical with punishment though never abusive (Berger, 2005). A high value is placed on obedience and the parent’s rules and consequences are law.    

     In early the school age, the child will appear to be well mannered and often quiet, obedient and conscientious. This behavior would produce a star pupil for the teacher and a good example to the class of what is expected of them. Though the teacher would be happy, the student would have feelings of guilt and depression. The child would be prone to internalizing frustrations and self-blame when expectations are not met (Berger, 2005).

     As an adolescent he or she may rebel against the parental and authority figures (Berger 2005). If such behavior carries into adulthood, unresolved feelings and emotional conflict could result in control and power struggles with peers. This person would have a difficult time in a management position, parenting or even in the community and authority figures.

    Parenting styles can be influenced by ethnicity and social status. Many researchers have found that Asian, African and Hispanic Americans show higher tendencies toward the authoritarian parenting style, but ecological factors may be a more prevalent influence (Megan, 2006).    

Permissive

The permissive parent would rather be a friend and an equal to the child than that of an authority figure. Though there would be family rules in which policy would be discussed, explained to and even created with the child, limits and boundaries are not maintained. The parent would allow the child to be self regulating (Baumrind 31). The parents of such a student are lax with discipline and their expectations for maturity are low (Berger, 2005).  Punishment is seen by the parents as negative method of control fearing the child would feel shamed and ridiculed. The parents would be more inclined to use convincing in a manor of re-directing the child (Baumrind, 1973).

     Children raised in a permissive household are expected to learn healthy habits such as cleaning, punctuality and good conduct when they are ready to. Since none of the concepts of the permissive parenting style of are used in public schools, the child will have a difficult time adjusting to authority figures. A child that is used to being treated as an equal will always question the policies and authority of public institutions such as schools.

     Permissive parents raise children that are likely to be less content than those of authoritarian households. Since the developing person would be a burden on peers, lack of maturity would impede friendship formation. Being unable to regulate emotions and having a lack of self control (Berger, 2005), it is unlikely that this person would be adequately prepared for adulthood.

 
Authoritative

 The authoritative parent does not wish to compromise his or her rights as an adult or those of the child. The child’s individuality would be recognized and nurtured, but the parent’s decision making process would not be influenced by the desires of the child or a group discussion. The parent would compromise and discus policies with the child as a means of considering their thoughts and feelings, but boundaries and limitations are firmly defined (Baumrind, 1973). A high value is placed on maturity and is expected. The authoritative parent also values “both expressive and instrumental attributes, both autonomous self-will and disciplined conformity” (Baumrind, 1973). If the parent’s high demand for maturity is not met, the child is more likely to be forgiven than punished. As guides and mentors rather than authorities or friends, the parents will sometimes bend the rules.

     Having been raised to believe that his or her thoughts and feelings are valid, the child is likely to be articulate and relatively happy in self perception. Children raised by authoritative parents are perceived as generous, intelligent and have positive relationships with mentors and peers. The advantages of authoritative parenting are steadily evolving in children of middle-class families of European decent to achieve academically. The adolescent has a greater chance of avoiding drugs and the young adult will have high self esteem (Berger, 2005).

     After enduring the awkwardness of puberty the early adult years are likely to be a successful transition. Being able to regulate emotions and maintain self-control, this person is able to trust and be trusted by peers, and appear articulate and generous to others.    

Child Temperament

Child temperament can have an impact on parenting styles and vise versa. The adult is more likely to have a plan of action that will not be dictated by the actions of the child. The temperament of the child can be reactionary to the parenting style. Temperament from early childhood should be carefully considered when applying a specific parenting style. Since some temperaments can result in behavioral problems they may require a diplomatic approach. If a child is aggressive in nature and self-expression is displayed by physically assaulting other children or parents, physical punishment may have an undesired affect. Aggressive behavior could actually be a result of permissive parenting. In fact being non-responsive and non-supportive can be risk factors in early antisocial behavior and low social competence. In contrast, children of parents that are emotionally positive and give attention to pro-social behaviors are likely to be non-aggressive and possess self-regulating skills (Baydar, Nazli, Reid, and Webster-Stratton, 2003).

     Punishment, warmth, and inductive reasoning are three key aspects of parenting that are relevant to child behavioral problems (Hemphill and Sanson, 2001). Parental warmth such as praise, acceptance and affection (verbal and physical), can produce positive results. Parental warmth and inductive reasoning both correlate with Bamrind’s description of authoritative parenting. Inductive reasoning is explaining the rules and consequences to the child. The parent also allows the child input on disciplinary decisions. Positive social adjustment can be an outcome of inductive reasoning. (Hemphill and Sanson, 2001).

     Punishment has been linked to later child aggressive behavior and noncompliance. This method of parenting is often used to assert power over the child. Direct commands, threats and physical punishment are examples of the extremities of this style. Low levels of punishment are found to produce less aggressive behaviors. (Hemphill and Sanson, 2001). The authoritative approach would use punishment as a last resort. Though it is a tool that is used consequentially, redirection is used more often.   

Conclusion

     It is often said that there is no manual for parenting and that there should be a test to allow people to become parents. If there was such a manual, it would have to be constantly updated to meet the cultural and bio-social demands of every new generation. In early times of human existence a more dominant and aggressive male was raised to be a hunter gatherer. Because the female was physically weaker than the male, it was more important to be intelligent to show usefulness to the tribe or male. Otherwise she was just a helpless mouth to feed and may have been killed. Parenting styles like all other fascists of life have evolved as our societies have. Parenting in the beginning may have been crude but necessary for the survival if the offspring. In the present day, some families in more dangerous neighborhoods may have to follow a certain style that ensures survival. In a desperate living situation, there may not be time to compromise and bend the rules. The Authoritative approach does not seem to fit in every situation and so a shift in parenting style may be more influenced by ecological factors than identification with a parent’s native culture (Megan, 2006). In the current American society there are needs that have to be met with smart parenting. 

      Like authoritarian parenting, the permissive style is an extreme. The former seeks to have total control and the latter, non-control. Both styles hinder vital interactions with people that help develop social stability (Baumrind, 1973). Controlling too much or too little would have a negative effect on problem solving and conflict resolution skills. In social environments a person will be faced with conflict and problems. Without the proper skills needed to cope with conflict the child risks experiencing the fight or flight response each time a problematic event occurs. Being exposed to prolonged periods of stress as a result of the fight or flight response, blood flow will decrease in vital body functions to increase in muscles, heart rate and respiration. Problems such as high blood pressure, gastrointestinal and digestive problems, decreased immune system response and brain damage can result from prolonged periods of stress (www.memorylossonline.com). Authoritarian and permissive parenting styles are do not support pro-social behavior.

     Authoritative parenting borrows from both authoritarian and permissive without going to an extreme, providing a middle ground for warmth and discipline. Public school systems use redirection and conflict resolution before any punitive measures are taken. This style of disciplined would bode well with the students from an authoritative household. Like at home, there is a high demand for maturity.

     Authoritative parenting would be the best model for a frame needed with today’s biological, social and psychological demands. The Authoritative parenting style provides discipline while reassuring the child with warmth. Sine the child is made to believe his or her opinion does matter, the child will have the confidence to share an opinion and make suggestions. The child raised by authoritative parents would become a successful and motivated student. Motivation is an important aspect for academic success. Environments such as the home and school class room can nurture the motivation to learn. For the class room to be a place that motivates a student to learn, the school would have to operate in a way that expects, respects, and rewards students for academic success (Renchler 3) much like the way an authoritative household would operate.

     In America adults are not physically punished for such miniscule offences as lying or not being punctual. Physical punitive measures such as spanking are not relevant to any adult experience. It seems senseless to spank a child for hitting; it sends a message that hitting is okay if done correctly by an adult. Adults have to be responsible enough to balance between reward and consequence. For completing an entire work week, an adult will be paid for an entire week of work. If the work week is not completed, then less money will be paid as a result. The rewards are well known to an employee as are the consequences. Simply put, the authoritative parenting style operates with the same method thereby preparing the child for adulthood with realistic expectations.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

     Baydar, Nazli, M. J. Reid, and Carolyn Webster-Stratton. "The Role of Mental Health Factors and Program Engagement in The Effectiveness of a Preventive Parenting Program for Head Start Mothers." Child Development 74 (2003): 1433-1453. 16 Nov. 2006.   

     Berger, Kathleen “The Developing Person Through the Lifespan”. 6th ed. New York: Worth, 2005. 1-666.

     Chandler, Megan, comp. The Influence of Parenting Style and Ethnicity on Academic Self-Efficacy and Academic Performance. Apr. 2006. Texas A&M University. 1 Nov. 2006 <http://handle.tamu.edu/1969.1/3717>.

     “Fight-or-Flight Response” Memory Loss & the Brain. 2005. Glossary15 Nov. 2006

http://www.memorylossonline.com/glossary/fightorflight.html

     Ghate, Deborah, and Vincent La Placa. "Perfection For Parents." Community Care 1546 (2004): 42-43.   

     Hemphill, Sheryl, Sanson, Ann, “Matching parenting to child temperament.” Family Matters, 10302646, Winter2001, Issue 59

     Scarr-Salapatek, Sandra and Philip Palapatek, eds. Socialization

Ohio, Charles E. Merrill Publishing Co. A Bell & Howell Co. 1973

Baumrind, Diana ”Authoritarian vs. Authoritative Parental Control.” Scarr-Salapatek and Salapatek 31-43.

     Renchler, Ron. "Student Motivation, School Culture, What School Leaders Can Do." Trends & Issues 7 (1992): 1-22.

Posted by: Johntk1 at 20:16 | link | comments (2)
parenting

Kid Gloves

So Sarah and I gave Olivia passage to this world (well Sarah provided the way). We gave her the best of our looks, wit, sense of humor, intelligence, love, time and energy, She has HER OWN AGENDA and it is NEVER MINE!!!! Couldnt someone have warned me of this?

Posted by: Johntk1 at 19:55 | link | comments (2)
parenting, kids, single parent